Reflections of the way life used to be...

Isn't it amazing how much your life can change in a year? This time last year, I was just beginning to look pregnant, and I had a massive belly button. I was craving strange things and anxiously waiting to listen to the heartbeat of a little being steadily growing inside my belly. Stranger still I had no idea if it was a little boy or girl that would be soon taking over my world. The last year has been a blur, I honestly don't remember much before May of 2009.


It seems as if my life just only began this past summer. I know it's cliche but I couldn't really imagine my life with a child, and now I can't imagine my life without my little chunk muffin.

For those of you that have been following the blog you know that, David and I didn't really plan for Owen, he was very much a surprise. I'll be honest, I didn't really think I was cut out for the mommy role. My life was in no way going according to my plan, and I was a little miffed.

How was I supposed to go to school all huge and waddle-y, I definitely had no desire to raise a kid in this itty bitty somewhat behind the times town we currently reside in, and was I really supposed to push a baby out? Yikes!

Ultimately, God is smarter than I am, and He knows what He's doing. After the panic wore away (a little, not all of it) I started to get a glimpse of His plan. If I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did, I may have never had a child. I definitely had on blinders and was focused on school and getting my doctorate, and by the time I finished that, I know that I would have felt that the "baby window" was shut tight.

Not to mention my ever growing fear of parenting. Maybe it was too many trips to Wal-Mart, being almost run over by snotty nosed children, or listening to "Bubba" scream at his mother that "He ain't going to stop screaming 'til he got a transformer" and "Bubba's" mom assuring him that she will gladly leave him in that Wal-mart, never to return.
Being a parent requires patience, and any of you that know me, know that I'm not even an honorable mention for the "Most Patience Award".

Alas, look at me now. I'm still impatient don't get me wrong, but you look at Owen's face and tell me that you wouldn't wait all day on the little guy. I'll admit that the self doubt bugs were starting to creep into my life last year, and then when I was handed my "mommy mission", I realized I had to suck it up and march on for the sake of my child. Just goes to show God's timing is the right timing.


So as I look back on a year gone by, what do I resolve to do this year?

I resolve to continue loving Owen with every fiber of my being. (Not that I could stop if I tried)

Be grateful for the amazing family and friends I've been blessed with, and making sure they know how much I love them.

Stress less about things beyond my control, and rest in the knowledge that my God is bigger than any challenge.

Remember my passions and pursuing them fearlessly.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom! ( I knew you'd disown me if I posted a birthday blog or pictures) Love you!